- There are several different approaches to potty training your child.
Like most aspects of parenting, there is no one “right” way to potty train your child. Learn about the most common approaches from Isis child development experts Kimbell DiCero and Saki Iwamato. Once you’re armed with information and recommended strategies, you can choose the method you think will work best for your child and your family.
The Cognitive Approach
- Appropriate starting age is approximately 28 months
- Toddlers need to feel wet when they pee in their diapers. Parents can use cloth training underwear or Pull-Ups that are designed to feel wet to the child.
- Talk a lot about how the process works and what they can do when it’s happening to them.
- Use potty books and have one or two in the bathroom for reading while toddlers are sitting on the potty.
- Create rituals around toileting like starting to go at certain times, reading potty books, creating silly potty songs, and using sticker charts.
- Start establishing regular times during the day when toddlers visit the potty and let them help when changing wet clothes.
- Pick out underwear together. (MANY, MANY PAIRS!)
- Plan a transition gift to be given or potty party when toddlers are dry through most days.
The “Naked” Approach
- Use during warm weather or if the house is warm enough inside.
- Seems to work best when toddlers are over 26 months, are aware of wetness, show definite interest and are aware of some of the process of potty use.
- Plan a day or so in advance with toddlers that it will be “potty days” soon and they will have the chance go diaperless or just wear underwear and use the potty during the day.
- Put aside a week of time to work on this but do not expect the toddler to be completely potty trained by that time.
- Let toddlers go naked or with just underwear in the house or in the backyard if you have one and have the potty handy.
- Have toddlers sit on the potty at regular intervals and help clean up if they pee or poop on the floor.
- Plan a transition gift or a potty party when toddlers are mostly dry during the days.
The Developmental Approach
- Begin when your child is approximately 18 months to about 28 months.
- Your toddler should show an interest in the potty and parent’s use of it and may show they want to try.
- Your toddler should start telling you with gestures or words when they are wet or have a poop.
- Get your toddler their own potty, they will likely enjoy sitting on it when parents are using the big toilet.
- Your toddler will ask to be changed or start to tell you when they are peeing or pooping.
- Your toddler will show an interest in underwear.
- Your toddler should like to and is willing to sit on the potty at regular intervals.
- Once your toddler stays dry most days, plan a transition gift or potty party.
All toddlers need lots of thoughtful praise and need to know that it’s not a big deal when accidents happen. Children’s bodies mature slowly and their control over them takes time to develop.
Kimbell DiCero MSEd, Isis Parenting Child Development Instructor & Saki Iwamato BS Child Life, Certified Child Life Specialist and Isis Parenting Intern
For more information about potty training, attend one of the Isis Potty Training Workshops, in-depth 1.5 hour sessions taught by Kimbell DiCero. Print out our free potty training sticker chart.
I use a combination of Elimination Communication (EC) and diapers with my 7-month-old. We began EC at birth and it overlaps with many of the same principles as conventional potty-training, but starts at a younger age and recongnizes that even newborns and infants know when they have to go to the bathroom. I have come to feel that all babies and parents practice EC to an extent, even if they don’t call it that. Babies do not want to sit in their own waste, and every parent knows they should change a soiled diaper as soon as they realize it has happened. EC is simply learning the signals that babies naturally make when they need to go, and intercepting the toileting episode right before it happens, rather than right after it happens. It saves a lot of diapers, and no coercion or gifts are used. The book “The Diaper-Free Baby” is written by a Boston-area author and wonderfully explains these concepts. Isis would be a terrific place for an EC workshop, too!
Hello there. This may be a bit off topic however it affects many families. We have a 5 year old with autism we are trying to potty train and a 3 year old with ADHD who isn’t trained yet. They both disrobe and play in their diapers. We actually invented some special needs autism clothing that helps the situation. It is an escape proof pajama called The Wonder Jumper and it is a romper sleeper that zips in the back. Our company is called iKids Fashion http://www.ikidsfashion.com thanks a lot!
“Appropriate starting age is approximately 28 months”
This is dangerous advice. Research indicates that delaying potty training until after age 2 is associated with an increased risk of long-term bladder problems.
Before the advent of disposable diapers, most children completed potty training around the time they began walking. The disposable diaper industry has pushed the “later is better” idea. Responsible parenting professionals should do their homework.
Hi there. We suggested the starting age of 28 months for the cognitive approach to potty training. It is meant as a guideline only. Some children demonstrate interest and body awareness at earlier ages. In the cloth diapering era most people report completing toilet training starting at 18 months to 2 1/12 years of age. Children who have renal reflux (or urine backing up from the bladder to the kidneys) are often encouraged to toilet train as soon as possible as to keep the diaper area free of urine and poop, therefore lowering the possibility of urinary tract and bladder infections. This is a special medical consideration.
This is the AAP statement on when to start potty training:
There is no set age at which toilet training should begin. Before children are 12 months of age, they have no control over bladder or bowel movements. While many children start to show signs of being ready between 18 and 24 months of age, some children may not be ready until 30 months or older. This is normal.
Most children achieve bowel control and daytime urine control by 3 to 4 years of age. However, even after your child is able to stay dry during the day, it may take months or years before he achieves the same success at night. Most children are able to stay dry at night after 5 years of age.
Just FYI.